I haven’t written anything humorous in some time now. I know, it’s shame because I’m hilarious even though I write like a drunken shrew who’s about half-way to death, way beyond crazy and spends most of her free time stalking boys from her car, while drinking a bottle of whiskey and eating entire bags of starburst jelly beans. Thank you Easter! Mmm…
It’s a character……Mom!
I swear I am not as odd & obsessive as I portray my literary alter ego. I am only slightly odd & obsessive.
And I like my character. She’s like me, but turned up to 11. You’re damn right, that’s a Spinal Tap reference and if you don’t know what I am talking about then you probably fit into the 80% of people who just don’t fucking get me.
I forgot my point. Ugh. Fuck it, I already wrote too much. I am going to post this anyway.
So in conclusion…
I am awesome.
Mom, your daughter is mentally stable.
No, that goth chick isn’t really me.
And yes, this is my worst post to date.