I surveyed several single male friends that use online dating sites and asked, “What are you tired of seeing on women’s profiles?” The results were alarming. Warning ladies… Men know that you don’t ride horses in real life. They are on to us. They may not know how or where we find the horses to […]
Read more "Mobile Dating Part Two"
Oh, Smart Phone… How you have changed my life. Let me count the ways…. You gave me Siri, the closest thing I have to a boyfriend. Side note for iPhone users: Feeling low? Change the voice of Siri from “American female” to “English male.” Then ask it questions like, “Does this shirt make me […]
Read more "Some Things About Mobile Dating: Part One"
I slept for 26 hours of the last 48. My king size bed was filled with clothes, popcorn, soda bottles, peanuts and little candy hearts that were sent to me in the same box with my contact lenses. Thank you 1-800-contacts. I rolled over and picked up one of the hearts. It was blue, my […]
Read more "Get Real"
I wrote about you. I read what I wrote about you. Then I cried about you. I cried about believing in you and in us. I cried because I swore to you that no matter what happened, I would never leave you. I am fiercely loyal, loyal to a fault. I always have been. But […]
Read more "Happy Divorciversary to Me…"
He asks, “Who wants a shot?” and receives a plethera of positive responses… “Yeah. I guess, Sure.” “MEEE!” “You buying, right? Hell, why not.” Ten minutes pass. He returns with a tray full of red colored shots and declares them “panty droppers.” I cringe and anticipate the overly sweet flavor that will hopefully mask the […]
Read more "This is Girl’s Night. I am Robin Hood."
Your maturity level will digress. All through out college, I was “the girl with the boyfriend.” Of course I partied. I wasn’t a psychopath. I didn’t sit at home with a Zima and write “Mrs. Future Ex-Husband” five hundred times accompanied by doodles of tiny hearts. I did always tend to go home earlier […]
Read more "Some Things That Happen The First Year of Being Single in 10 Years"
Being single in your 30s is kind of like being the only female in a seedy dive bar; you feel a little out of place. As some drunk guy stumbles out of the unisex bathroom with piss stained jeans, you think to yourself, “Maybe I should be somewhere else in life, somewhere more grown-up, classy […]
Read more "I Don’t Love You, but I Love This Bar."