Oh, Smart Phone… How you have changed my life. Let me count the ways…. You gave me Siri, the closest thing I have to a boyfriend. Side note for iPhone users: Feeling low? Change the voice of Siri from “American female” to “English male.” Then ask it questions like, “Does this shirt make me […]Read more "Some Things About Mobile Dating: Part One"
I slept for 26 hours of the last 48. My king size bed was filled with clothes, popcorn, soda bottles, peanuts and little candy hearts that were sent to me in the same box with my contact lenses. Thank you 1-800-contacts. I rolled over and picked up one of the hearts. It was blue, my […]Read more "Get Real"
It was cold on the day. I wore black, but not on purpose. I woke up that morning in the normal haze that surrounds me every morning. I grabbed clothes that were clean and easy to throw on because I am not a morning person. It took a year to realize the irony of it […]Read more "Happy Divorciversary Baby."
“Whenever I’m interested in something, I know the timing’s off, because I’m always interested in the right thing at the wrong time. I should just be getting interested after I’m not interested any more.” –Andy Warhol We assume Andy is referencing the art process, but this insight rings true in all categories of adult relationships; Friendships, […]Read more "The Studio 54 Defect"
“You sit at the board and suddenly your heart leaps. Your hand trembles to pick up the piece and move it. But what chess teaches you is that you must sit there calmly and think about whether it’s really a good idea and whether there are other, better ideas.” –Stanley Kubrick. Love with my ex-husband […]Read more "Love is a Game of Chess and I Lost."
He asks, “Who wants a shot?” and receives a plethera of positive responses… “Yeah. I guess, Sure.” “MEEE!” “You buying, right? Hell, why not.” Ten minutes pass. He returns with a tray full of red colored shots and declares them “panty droppers.” I cringe and anticipate the overly sweet flavor that will hopefully mask the […]Read more "This is Girl’s Night. I am Robin Hood."