I walk the edge of the crowd watching for cracks in the pavement like a child.  And like a child, I stare at the ostentatious drunkery that dances around me.  I convince myself that I am within myself and outside of everything else.  I tell stories in my head about the people I see and the people they see that I do not.  I am amused by the strange tales about these strangers which I find oddly funny.  They are my own but unowned, each one intwined and combined with the other and myself.  And they don’t even know.  

I told myself I would have a good time today.  I am not, but I tried.  Sometimes trying is in pill form and sometimes trying is more than a pill.  It depends on the occasion.  I mumble to myself and skip stoically while hearing my name called and called again.  I care little for the sense I make.  I have decided that you either know or you do not know and in this general specification the lack of knowledge is not my concern;  Though it normally is, as it should be.  Skip, skip instead..

Katie…Katie!!?  Kate?

He calls, but I do not look.  I do the math instead.  I share my name with so many others here, I calculate.  I decide to ignore him and instead I look for more cracks.  Again, my name…

Katie!! HEY, kate? Hellooo.

I listen.  I isolate the sound.  I have to.  My hope for love is my river of slime;  I just can’t help myself from getting pulled in.  I open my world for a moment, and for a moment everything inside of me feels like everything always or nothing at all.  It is so odd;  I have no past reference towards this feeling and I have felt so much.

I hear his calls again,  K..Katie..I turn my head this time and look and smile like a child…

…There you are.

-KLM, drinking and diving